Akos - Rules to live by

1.
When you are attempting to prove that you can be assertive, by insisting, to the nice girl on the phone that you have ordered noodle soup there many times, before you ask to speak to the manager, make sure you are not calling Pizza Hut.

2.
Do not attempt to change the burned out bulb in the bathroom if there is a woman in there getting ready to go out. Consequences may vary. Caveat: If a woman asks you to change the light bulb when she is getting ready to go out: HURRY regardless of possible consequences to self.

3.
To avoid serious injury and a trip to emergency, when landing in the snow after jumping over a fallen child, try not to slam your elbow into your ribs.

4.
For a faster recovery time, if you seriously rip most of the skin off your knee sliding into first base while wearing shorts, do not do it again the following week.

5.
When attempting to catch a grounder at third base, wear a glove to avoid loss of thumb.

6.
When you find yourself in an above ground pool with no water and your friend is hanging from the rafters in the garage yelling help because the ladder you need to get out the pool fell over as he was retrieving some items from the rafters, do not vault over the side of the pool. The ground is closer than you think.

7.
When mountain biking in the driveway apply the rear brake first as you attempt not to hit a child to avoid facial injuries when flying over the handlebars and face planting in the gravel.

Observarions from Di